Heal the Womb, Heal the Woman & How to Find Your Fire!
Today I’m having a “good” day. My synapses are firing, I feel sharp and focused. I’m zinging with positive energy and have optimistic flashes of the future. I feel like I can do it all, and win on every front. But the thing is, this never lasts. In a few days, I’ll feel a bit more tired, a bit less sure. And two weeks from now it’ll be a “bad” day: I’ll be exhausted, vulnerable, cotton-mouthed and foggy-brained, until a week later when I’ll likely be bursting with creativity again.
I can’t believe it’s taken me almost three decades to recognize this pattern. It’s repeated itself every single month of my life and yet I’ve never noticed how bloody defined it is! And defined by blood. It took two sessions with Clare Spink, the founder of Fertility Massage Therapy, for her to explain my cycle to me. And the chances are if you are a woman, Clare’s theory will resonate with you too.
Clare has spent the last 15 years connecting women with their womb. Other than perhaps 5 days a month, it’s not an area we give much thought to – until, that is, we hope to get pregnant (and Clare believes that many fertility problems are the remnants of physical and emotional trauma, and she’s got a great track record of helping women conceive.)
I’m meeting Clare for a “Female Empowerment Massage.” Newsflash: the womb is our creative centre – capable of producing babies AND our best work. Clare has designed a treatment to unravel patterns, beliefs, and imprints, reveal visions and desires and help us work withour cycles. We sit together in her elegant therapy room at 58 South Molton Street in Mayfair. She’s red-haired and effervescent, direct and warm, and she starts by asking me about my own birth story. Was I born out of love, a surprise, or was there fear? When a mother feels fear, her muscles contract and a baby will feel it too. That baby can grow to be fearful as an adult. We hold everything in our cells, says Clare, and when she does bodywork massage on a client it often allows the cells to shift and release.
Clare asks if I have any issues, blockages or needs. There are times, I tell her, when I feel like a fraud, when I’m cripplingly unconfident. How can I stop it – especially when it coincides with a crucial meeting or interview? It’s then that Clare explains menstruality, the moon and our inner seasons…
During our monthly cycle our hormones and energetics change, and there are weeks when you need to rest, and weeks when you feel you can take on the world. Pre-menstruation woman can often be shrouded in self-doubt and self critical, says Clare, and we become irritable. But we should be listening to these messages from our womb. It’s a time when we can reflect on what isn’t making us happy – for example our job, or certain people we are connected to. “Use your bleed to work out how to deal with it. Have a bath, and really think it though,” says Clare. During menstruation we can let go of what it is we don’t need. “The first day of our period is a real release, and we don’t feel so angry anymore,” says Clare. It’s a time when we should be listening to our intuition and deciding how we need to deal with issues. “But don’t act on it yet,” she warns.
When menstruation is over, we suddenly feel a bit more ‘scatty’, like we are in our maiden years again. “This is a great time for multitasking, for feeling juicy and creative,” says Clare, “Ideas will suddenly reveal themselves.” It’s in the next phase though – during ovulation – when we should deliver on ideas and take action. “This is when you’re especially focused, and important things will pop up on your radar.” This, I realize, is the time when I creatively PING.
On my second session with Clare, I lie face down on the massage table and from the start, it’s unlike any massage I’ve had before. She gently rocks me from side to side; she makes tiny movements over my sacrum and I fall into deep relaxation. Once on my back, Clare massages my womb, wraps my body in towels and quietly takes me on a visualization: walking through a forest, finding a tree with a door, walking into it and down a spiral staircase. I emerge into a garden and here I meet Spring – a young woman who gives me seeds to plant. I totally surrender myself to the story of meeting the personification of all my seasons, the different versions of myself.
An hour later, I’m drawn back into reality to discuss my visions with Clare. This is often when women will recognize what part of their life is blocking them and where their power lies. For me, I discovered a deep understanding that I have the strength and the knowledge to make important decisions. These women – my seasonal sisters – are all on my team. There was relief in recognizing my monthly rollercoaster, and establishing that any big changes – like a career launch – should be done in the Summer of my cycle. Taking self-belief to a whole new level, it’s as if I’d finally been connected to the wisdom of my womb.
An Insight into Menstruality
Menstruation = Our Winter. This is all about preoccupation and setting intentions. It’s a time to seek answers to problems and to learn to accept the past and the uncertainty of the future. It’s symbolized by our childhood up until our first period.
Pre-Ovulation = Our Spring. This is when we take hold of the insights gained in Winter, and decide how and whether to fulfill them. We become strong, analytical, and clear. It’s symbolised by our maiden years, from teenage to 20’s, when we’re most social.
Ovulation = Our Summer. This is when we make strong, focused, and wise decisions. There’s a sense of flow and ease with what works well in our lives, and we’re at our most senseual and sexual. It’s symbolized by our 30’s – mid 40’s, when we might become a mother, choose the career we want or work out who we want to be.
Pre-Menstrual = Our Autumn. This is the editing phase of our cycle, a time to face the reality of what works and what doesn’t. We feel decreased concentration and focus and an increasing intolerance, but also a strengthening of our psychic and intuitive abilities. It’s symbolized by the wisdom of our late 40’s to 50’s.